As a daughter of New York City, I've been riding the MTA for more than a decade. Although New York never ceases to amaze anyone (and, please, let's let our guards down for a minute and admit that), I feel as if I've seen my fair share of spectacles.
There was the F-train masturbator, the twenty-something who roamed 34th Street sporting a fake penis, etc...
But despite my dulled sense of shock, nothing could've prepared me for riding the bus in Samoa.
Samoa is a small group of islands in the South Pacific. For those of you who keep up with the news, it was recently devastated by a tsunami that transformed the peaceful coasts into a mass of waterlogged debris. Samoa is about three hours northeast of New Zealand by plane (free drinks included) and, at the same time, it's worlds away.
People commune in open-air huts called fales that only have a ceiling to provide shelter from the unrelenting sun and sheets of rain that fall during dramatic equatorial thunderstorms.
Business attire comprises sarong-like lavalava, short-sleeve collared shirts and no-nonsense flip flops.
Mangy dogs, cats, lazy pigs and chickens roam the streets in harmony with humans.
My travel companions and I were sick of the city and of the cold. The three of us had lived in Auckland, the largest city in New Zealand, for a semester abroad. We had forgone our summer to arrive during the country’s rainiest, dreariest winter in years. And although we had a great time despite the gloom, we were craving heat, lukewarm ocean water and blinding sun. Samoa was one of two stopover options on our way back to the U.S. We had a week in the middle of the South Pacific and planned to overcompensate for our lost summer.
From our hostel, The Princess Tui Inn, which is a little outside the main city of Apia, we speed walked (which is no easy feat near the equator) to the bus depot at Apia’s commercial harbor. We expected the bus ride would be a little under two hours and that we’d depart the city at noon, en route to the idyllic beaches of Lalomanu on the southeast coast. We looked forward to two o’clock the way a five-year-old looks forward to Christmas morning. After arriving at the depot, we eagerly searched for our chariot.
I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. I don’t know why I was expecting the modern-day buses of the MTA, or even of the MTA 40 years ago.
Habit maybe?
The buses the littered the depot were unlike anything I’d ever seen a human being ride in.
First off, they were more wood than metal, kind of like a go-cart. They were also about half the size of a regular school bus. But their most striking quality was their décor. In a word, they were loud.
Our bus had a yellow roof and a teal exterior. Other buses had their own vibrant color schemes.
The inside was even more of a surprise.
There were two rows of small wooden benches, which looked far from comfortable. But it was the driver’s area that struck me most. A fuzzy, tangerine-colored shag was draped over the dashboard. Hanging from the mirror was a melee of hanging adornments. The seat cover was a wash of bright colors that matched the vibrant South Pacific flora.
We boarded our go-cart about 25 minutes early and paid the 6 tala (about $2 USD) fee, relieved that, save the driver, we were the only passengers. At noon, departing time, only a few more elderly women joined us. Things were looking good. We'd practically have the whole bus to ourselves. At 12:15, the bus had yet to leave. Locals kept piling on. By now, almost all the seats were bursting with lavalava and shopping bags. At 12:30, the bus was still sitting in the sweltering depot and over-capacity. Passengers were packed in the aisle and children were pushed onto women’s' laps so that every last inch of space was filled...or so we thought. At 12:45 (on an island-time schedule) the bus finally puttered out of the depot. As soon as the driver fired the ignition, a stream of reggae Christmas music and Akon's "Right Now" drowned out the quiet cacophony of spoken Samoan.
Listening to a snare-drum rendition of "White Christmas" while sweltering was definitely something. Along the way, we passed crystal-blue water, concrete fales, thatched roofs and palm trees. The only “white” that would ever cover this ground was sand. “How did this song even make their playlist?” we constantly asked each other. But just when one Christmas song ended, “Right Now” would make a grand reappearance. And so went the ride.
Down the windy beach roads that eventually crept into the hazy, green mountains, we managed to accumulate even more passengers. At the halfway mark of our trip, which came later than expected, the doorway was completely blocked. Uniformed children were getting out of school and waiting in droves at the bus stops. Good thing most of them were small. Adults hoisted the kids through the open windows to seated passengers. Some of them stayed on the recipients’ laps (all female), while others were passed to women whose laps were vacant. One of my friends and I volunteered our empty laps to two of the tossed-around children. She played hand games; I offered my island-brand Teddy Grahams. Our other companion somehow found herself in the lap of one of the male riders. He looked pleased. She looked pissed.
Toward the end of our trip, the bus began shedding more and more passengers: children out through the windows; adults through the door. After three hours, when our go-cart made its way down the mountain, we were finally at Lalomanu—in the promised sea-and-sand southeast. We got off at the last stop, confused, sweaty and glad we’d be underwater in minutes.
Today, a little more than one year after our trip, the beautiful area is still recovering from the tsunami’s destruction. When they’ve rebuilt, please show your love and support by paying them a visit. Although the ride there may sound arduous, tie on a lavalava, grab a kid, enjoy the view and let the soothing sounds of Akon carry you away.
It honestly does beat the MTA.
By 
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