Oscar Fashion Polizia 2010

Oscars.jpgThe opinions expressed in this article belong to T-bonz (and some random quips from Elyse). These shouldn't be reflected on the entire Glamour Cow famiglia!

Most improved from Golden Globes: Cameron Diaz (Elyse: Did you see those crow's feet?)

Best animated character to real person crossover: Zoe Saldana (Elyse: Orgasm. Loved this.)

Worst dressed person (who knew they had a good chance to win): Sandy Bullock (Elyse: Really? I loved her dress...)

Worst double vision: J Lo and Amanda Seyfried , someone at Armani Prive needs to check their email and not put bitches in what looked like the same prom dress (Elyse: JLO needs to get back on the 6 train with that dress; looks like a cross between BAPS and Candy Land board game piece. Amanda looks she's wrapped in cheap, gauzy fabric from Michael's Craft Store.)

Worst tattoo: George Clooney's Italian Bitch needs some stage makeup to cover up that tribal tattoo. I can't believe he even talks to women that have them! (Elyse: Is. That. A. Tribal. Band.)

Best sucking on the nipple of youth: Demi Moore (Elyse: Agreed.)

Most tired ball gown look: Penelope Cruz. Someone get her a dress from Mango pllsss! (Elyse: I'm having flashbacks of my Italian mothers taffeta curtains in our dining room.)

Best crack head cleanup: Kristen Stewart (Elyse: Girlfren needs some bronzer.)

Serious WTF’s: SJP, Diane Kruger, and Nicole Richie I was soo disappointed no words. (Elyse: SJP = Horrible fit. Who was your stylist, BooBoo? However, loved the glittery eyeliner, who makes that? Diane = Reminds me of a fully-clothed Agent Provocateur window mannequin number. Miss Ritchie = Looks like Reem Acra stole a Missioni design & slapped it on your body.)

Worst hair trend: Sweaty frizz ponytail from the gym. Guilty: JLo, SJP,Maggie Gyllenhall)

Worst use of kindergarten paints as a dress: Rachel McAdams (Elyse: Looks like Georgia O'Keefe vom'd all over her gown.)

Boys who I wouldn’t kick of bed (tux included): Ryan Reynolds, Zack , Bradley Cooper

Best dressed man: Robert Downey Jr (Elyse: Obsessed with the glasses.)

Best dressed woman: Maggie Gyllenhall or Meryl Streep (Elyse: Meryl = classic.)

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48 Comments

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